Diary of a chick trying to pursue this acting ordeal.

Pursuing acting is a complete adventure.

If it wasn't an adventure I don't think I'd be pursuing it. I'd probably be sitting in a cubicle somewhere trying to flirt with my boss on casual fridays, because let's face it...what else are you supposed to do if you work in a cubicle?

I read an article in Backstage West the other day, "10 Things I Wish I Would've Known Before Pursuing Acting." The 10th item was the fact that any actor has plenty of other talents and skills that they could be pursuing as a career, and that if you are pursuing acing, it should only be because you absolutely love it, and not because you believe that you have nothing else to offer.

So after reading the article and getting caught up in the "between show blues" (Peter Pan closed and rehearsals for "You Can't Take it With You" don't start until the end of August), I decided to have a nice, long, sit-down chat with my mom. My parents are bookkeepers and run their business from home, so if I'm ever in a financial bind, they're the first ones I turn to for advice. My mom's advice was simple and perfect. She asked me point blank, "Is this what you want to do with your life?" I responded, "Yes. Nothing else makes me happy the way this does." She simply told me, "If this is your dream, you pursue it, but you can't have regrets, and you can't get upset if you struggle with bills. You're doing things the unconventional way, so if this is what you want out of life, just always make sure you have these two things taken care of: Health insurance and your car. As long as you have a car to drive you to auditions, and health insurance, you'll be fine."

Shortly after this conversation, I made the call to my health insurance provider to make a payment on my plan....the conversation was shortly following by a mini-panic attack when they tried to charge me a $15 "missing the grace period almost late fee." Yeah, it's only 15 bucks, but my coffee hadn't kicked in yet, so they might as well have told me that they were charging me $100.

I had the day off today, so I decided to snag my first assignment from the company I'm writing for as a freelancer. I was stoked to pick a topic from the thousands of options available under the "work desk" portion of the website. As I scrolled through the options such as, "How to make your own set of bag pipes" and "how to lease a car in the Netherlands," I realized that I might not have the right amount of knowledge tucked away in my back pocket to write anything for ehow.com. Then I discovered a topic that I figured I could b.s. my way through, "How to find a person's screen name." I should have titled it, "How to stalk people online casually." I felt dirty just writing it. I mean, who knows what kind of people read this stuff. So I submitted the article, and the response from the editor went something like this, "Why can't the person just ask permission to receive the screen name instead of looking for it online?"

Gee....I don't know....why do you have dumb "how to's" listed on your website?
Speaking of which, the next topic I chose to write on (strictly because I can't pronounce half of the words in the other topics) is, "How to take apart a Furby." Don't judge. It was either this, or "How to make your own blow-up doll"...which would've been hilarious.

I don't know how well this whole freelance writing thing will work out...but I can tell you this...it's given me enough material in one day, to blog on it for the rest of the year.

As for everything else in life...it's pretty good. I LOVE my job at Universal and I'm eagerly waiting to kick-off "You Can't Take it With You," which will be the 6th show I've worked on in less than a year. I went to a casting workshop with the casting associate for LIE TO ME, and got to read for him...I felt like it went well. I have another workshop with the casting associate for PARENTHOOD and UNITED STATES OF TARA next week. I'm going into Week 4 of an acting class with instructor, Anthony Meindl...who is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. All of the studio guides get to take classes taught by him for free, which has been a sweet deal.

It seems like lately, there's a lot of stress in the air, but when it comes down to it...the positive has been outweighing the negative, so I have nothing to complain about.

And I love my family with all my heart. They know I love what I do, and it would be so much more stress-free if I sucked it up and put my B.A. to use and had a career that I couldn't stand....and yes...we bicker and argue and stress out over it together, but when I'm really caught in a bind, they're here for me. No questions asked.

The Girl Who Wouldn't Grow Up...

I've been in rehearsals for PETER PAN for about the past month and a half. We have a preview night of the show tonight, and we open tomorrow. This weekend is a huge weekend for so many of us. For many of the kids, it's their first musical, which is extremely exciting. For many of the veterans, they're playing the part they've dreamed of, and it's a whole new adventure for them.

This past month and a half, we've all been living in this world of PAN. The world of "not growing up," and having that place that makes you young. Being immersed in this world for any amount of time, you start to keep yourself in check. You start to wonder if you grew up, or if you held on to that childish side that you know and love. My Neverland is theatre. It's always been that way. Whenever I feel like I'm growing up too fast or am not so sure of myself, theatre grounds me again.

My next adventure is to move to the Hollywood neck of the woods. It's a statement I've uttered many times, and it only remained pie in the sky. But I've been playing my cards right, and it is turning more and more into a reality. I was going through boxes of my stuff in the garage. Boxes full of trinkets collected from roommate adventures, old shot glasses and even the birthday pin from the legendary 21st birthday. Amongst the heap, I came up with a small box pull of disposable cameras. Cameras from high school that I originally forgot to develop. Then I continued to "forget" to develop them. Now a part of me just doesn't want to develop them. I almost want to hold those memories in those tiny cameras forever, because I know that as soon as I look at the developed photo, I will be holding the proof that I have grown up. A part of me doesn't want to look back, but I do whole-heartedly just want to enjoy every moment that life throws my way.

Preview night for PAN is tonight. I was added into a 2nd part in the show yesterday, that I am extremely excited about. I am playing Wendy Darling all grown up. Which is completely ironic since I have an embedded Peter Pan complex that I just can't shake. During the dress rehearsal last night, I stood on stage in a wig and nightgown that aged me significantly, and I waved goodbye as Jane and Peter flew out the window. It was a completely symbolic moment. I'm at a point in my life where I would be in complete denial if I didn't acknowledge the fact that the bills keep rolling in, and that society does in fact consider me a grownup. But it was in that moment last night, that I was able to accept the fact that I am a grownup, because I've stayed true to that childish side of me. And if 10-year old Erika were to run into me one day, I think she'd be proud.

Come on out and see PETER PAN this weekend or next weekend. Whether you're a grownup or a kid, the show will make you feel YOUNG AGAIN.
www.lewisfamilyplayhouse.com