how to party like an old fart 101

This past weekend, I indulged myself in going to 2 parties in the OC. The first was a jungle party, for which I dressed up as a bush...aka...going naked with some strategically placed leaves. The 2nd was a bbq/pool party. To which, ironically, I showed up fully clothed and bikini-less. Moving on. At party number 1, I ran into my entire past. I quickly went from present day, to the summer of 2005. The best summer of my life. Whenever you run into your past, you're instantly pushed into the glorious "remember when" conversations. It was these conversations that reminded me of just how daring I once was.

"Remember when we spent the entire summer with red plastic cups glued to our hands?"
"Remember going into work hungover...everyday?"
"Remember the time I passed out in your old apartment in the kitchen with that bottle of tequila?"
"Remember when we made jello shots...and you finished the entire bowl of jello?"
Maaaaaaan those were the times. Those were the days when a migraine wasn't a pain in the ass...it was a sure sign that you were a hero. A hero of liquor. You were made of steel.

It was a time when there were no worries. No bills to fuss over. Only school to focus on. As I stood in the middle of that party wearing nothing but leaves, I began to realize something dreadful. I had somehow grown up a little bit. And I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. I managed to stay sober during the party, realizing that the crazy girl I used to be was slowly escaping me...and I had to get her back.

The next day, I made an appearance at party number 2, and ran into a chunk of the same crowd from the night before. It was like marathon party weekend. It was incredible. I quickly downed a shot in an attempt to bring back my 'crazy girl' spark. It didn't work. Not even a buzz. At one point during the night, I was sitting on a couch with some of my closest friends staring off into the backyard. There were 2 teenagers making out. Both drunk off their asses. One of them without a shirt. The other must have had some beer goggles on, because there was no way a guy of his calibre would've landed her under normal circumstances. I remember watching those two, and thinking, 'what idiots.' They're going to wake up with a hangover filled with regret. It was at that moment that my friend laughed and said, "Erika, that was totally you a year or so ago." And she was right. That WAS me. Carefree in the middle of a party living in the moment, because that was all that mattered then. What had changed so much?

I talked with my mom about this fear of mine. She always seems to have an answer for these sorts of things. She explained to me that she was head over heels in love with my dad and planning their wedding at my age. Before that, she was the party queen. There wasn't anything that she wouldn't do. She told me that I still have a lot to get out of my system before I'll truly be ready to settle down. This gave me hope. It gave me hope that there are more shots to be had. More couches to pass out on. More beers to down. My time is not up.