It will all work itself out...

Currently in this very moment....
This is what my world looks like.

I'm sitting on my un-made bed. On my left is a tattered copy of LA weekly opened to the "theatre reviews" section. To my right, is a camcorder that I haven't touched since I finished recording promos for RENT. In front of me is a sweaty unitard and my first pair of jazz shoes that I bought the other day. And I know it sounds pathetic...but I'm more proud of those jazz shoes then I am of my B.A. in journalism...because I NEVER....I mean NEVER, thought that I would be cast as a featured dancer in anything....and now I'm about to be a featured dancer in PETER PAN. After a morning thru afternoonish rehearsal I collapsed in my room.

Like many people my age, I continued to ask myself the same questions: What am I doing with my life? What is my plan? Am I including my friends in my life? Am I 100% happy? What can I change?

I ask myself these questions all the time. It never stops. I'm always trying to figure out the next step.

Here's where I'm at right now. Post-college I moved back home to save money. The plan was to stay home for 1 year, then move to LA or NEW YORK.....it all depended on if I magically got into the Equity union. Just over 2 years later, I'm still at home, and more broke then when I started.

How did that happen?
I got in a car accident (not my fault)= car payments on a used car....car payments that I never had to deal with before.
I graduated college= hellooooo student loans....
Aaaand, I actually have health insurance.

So the current plan is to move to LA in August.
Which is exhilarating...
And scary....
Does anyone ever really have the money to up and move? I don't think so....It might sound naive, but I'm at a point where my only focus is to just "go for it." If I fail, then I fail, but I'm going to stop letting my inner thoughts tell me that I won't make it if I up and move.

I'm proud of a couple things thus far....
1)I know what I love to do...and I make an effort to do it all the time. I'm working on my 5th show in less than a year, and to be honest, this IS what I love the most.

2) I'm completely unreasonable. I'm the most illogical person you'll ever meet. BUT at the same time....I'm always happy. Dreamers might be illogical, but we go for the things we want.

And that's it I guess for right now. I re-discovered my love of cheesy movies tonight. I sat down and watched "Dave," starring Kevin Klein, and I made a cran-pineapple martini that ended up being so tasty...that I had 3...maybe I missed my calling....maybe I should be bartending....