Diary of a Receptionist

****Found in the depths of my google docs profile from the last time I had a receptionist gig****circa early 2009

I've almost hit the 5-month mark as a receptionist.
It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Trust me, never ever, not once when I was a kid, did I ever utter the words, "When I grow up, I want to be a receptionist." It is not what I wanted to grow up to be, and to be quite frank, I don't even consider myself to "be" a receptionist.

I'm an actor/writer trying to make it in L.A. (Aren't we all?) Isn't every receptionist in L.A. secretly air-brushing their headshots on photoshop while they answer phones? Aren't all receptionists writing spec scripts as they pretend that they're putting in a supply order for their boss? The receptionist job is the job for dreamers, at least, that's how I have to see it for now.

Here's why I am in the position that I'm in.

I could easily blame it on the recession. Before the recession, things were going ok. I was living the actor dream. Was I landing big roles and being exploited on the cover of US weekly? No, but in the world of "starving amateur actors" I was doing alright. I had an agent. He never got me one audition, but I had one, and that was enough to justify me quitting my full-time job. It was a start. I had headshots. Sure, I would have to get veneers and stand in front of a fan during an audition to look like my headshots, but there you go. I was in a short film that was heading down the festival circuit. That alone sounds good. I don't need to mention that my performance in it makes me cringe when I watch it. Saying I was any good in it is the equivalent of saying that Julia Roberts knows how to play someone other than herself. All the same things were fine, but not where money was concerned. I was making a living by critiquing screenplays. I was making a whopping $10/script, but I kept the gig because it was flexible and also the only job I could find right away. I would pound through 5 scripts a day. I could be found dragging myself through hours of poor grammar choices, only to push myself into the world of characters that were under-developed and all on only one cup of coffee. I was lucky to land a part-time job working for Radio Disney, but alas, the money wasn't there and the economy was continuing to go through her raging case of p.m.s. and self-esteem issues. It was at this point that my bills weren't getting paid, and that my dream of somehow being able to live in NYC seemed farther away. It was time to suck it up and get a full-time job.

That's how I became a receptionist.

Some people my age are on the path they want to pursue. Others are doing odd jobs to pay the bills so that they can do what they love on the side. Right now I'm the receptionist who cakes on lipstick hoping that the next person who walks in the lobby will discover me. kidding. The truth is, life completely overwhelms me. The whole concept is completely exciting and I don't know how people are able to stay so focused on what they want to do with their life. There are so many possibilities out there. I could take a fencing class and learn how to be a proper pirate. I could take out a loan and travel around Spain. I could learn a new language via podcasts. All of these opportunities. All of these things that life has to offer. My inability to focus has caused me to not do any of these things. (Except re-learn German via podcast.) I guess all I can do is take it one step at a time.